John White: a personal tribute

John White was a prolific author, a psychiatrist, and a key figure in the Vineyard movement in Vancouver. His recent death prompted the following reflection by Carolyn Budd-Goertzen.

LIKE MANY PEOPLE, I first became acquainted with John White through one of his books. It was 1980, and after a lengthy illness I was placed on anti-depressants -- a rather new phenomenon back then.

I felt like I was suffocating in a black hole -- and I felt guilt that, as a Christian, my faith was not strong enough to enable me to 'snap out of it.' Then I picked up a book called The Masks of Melancholy, by Dr. White -- and I felt understood, and ministered to in a profound way.

That summer, Vancouver's Regent College had Dr. White teaching a course based upon his book. I was able to contact him, and I still recall vividly a private two-hour interview I had with him. I especially remember the prayer he prayed for me at the end: that I might be filled with the courage and faith I needed to get to the roots of my depression -- and that the truth would set me free. That prayer was the beginning of events that would change my life. I felt loved, and sensed the compassion of God surrounding me.

Later I discovered Dr. White's Parents in Pain, a book that helped me cope with a wayward son. A friend who needed it in her life a few years later once said that this book sat beside her bed -- along with her Bible -- and helped pull her through a time of grief with her daughter.

My next encounter with John was while attending Regent College in 1988 as full-time student; he was again lecturing in a course based on one of his books, entitled When the Spirit Comes with Power. In a time of prayer, he once again touched my life; he prayed for healing, for a friend who had been in a car accident. Knowing nothing about us, he also prayed a strange prophetic prayer that my friend Peter and I would be granted wisdom in our relationship. We were married one year later.

The honest, humble and convicting writing of John White touched many lives. He authored more than two dozen books -- 25 published to date in English, and a number in Spanish. He wrote fantasy novels, study guides and articles for various magazines; and as a doctor, he wrote professional articles as well.

John White died on May 11, after a lengthy battle with Alzheimer's and heart disease. He died at home, peacefully -- in the arms of Lorrie, his wife of nearly 47 years. It does not surprise anyone who knew him well that his final words -- spoken only minutes before his death -- were a prayer for a young pastor friend, who had come from Hawaii to simply sit with him at the end.

John, who had spent weeks struggling for breath -- and had very little strength or ability to speak -- leaned over and wrapped his arms around this young man, and prayed God's blessing. He then sat back and, leaning on Lorrie's arm, looked up -- and with face filled with awe and wonder, gave up his spirit in great peace. Lorrie's immediate thoughts were "absent from the body, present with the Lord". She later told of seeing, in the Spirit, John walking through heaven's gate and being filled with an inexplicable joy.

Even in the peaceful manner in which he died, prayer was answered -- and I believe that, the moment he died, John was hearing a voice saying, "Well done, good and faithful servant." As word of his passing continues to spread around the world, the family continues to receive phone calls and letters expressing their sorrow but also deep thanks for having had John touch their lives.

His funeral was held May 17, at Peace Portal Alliance Church in South Surrey. Around 500 people came to pay their respects to this servant of God. Many from different parts of the world came to testify to the life-changing effect John White had on their lives.

At the service, his daughter Liana gave a history of her father -- and I share in part what she said, with some added information.

John was born in Liverpool, England on March 5, 1924, and grew up in Manchester. After serving in the Fleet Air Arm during WW ll as a reconnaissance photographer, he completed medical training at Manchester University. He spent time on various short-term missions, involving Bible smuggling and encouraging Christian believers behind the Iron Curtain.

He married Loretta Mae O'Hara on June 25, 1955. Lorrie was from Nova Scotia, and they met at a missionary conference in Pennsylvania on June 10. Lorrie had been on the mission field in the Philippines; she had been sent home diagnosed with tuberculosis, and was enroute to a sanatorium. Before he met her, John prayed with others at the conference for her to be healed. John loved to tell the story of how he fell in love with Lorrie the moment he laid eyes on her, and how he prayed fervently that this would be the wife God had for him. The Lord heard his prayers on both counts.

They left for a mission in Bolivia on October 10, 1955. They began with New Tribes Missions, and later John became the associate general secretary of the International Fellowship of Evangelical Students of Latin America.

They had five children on the mission field. Scott was born in Bolivia, in the midst of a civil war. While Lorrie was in the hospital giving birth, John dodged bullets down the streets of Cocobamba to be with her. Kevin and Liana were born in Argentina; and twin boys Miles and Leith were born in Peru.

When the twins were six months old, the White family moved to Winnipeg, Manitoba; there, John completed his residency in psychiatry. He filled the post of associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Manitoba.

At the university, he and Lorrie began attending a small group. John was asked to teach them the word of God, and The Church of the Way grew out of this. John and Lorrie had a real love for the Chinese students at the university, and their special bond with Asians was born. The Church of the Way grew to about 400.

In the early 1980s, John took early retirement to concentrate on his writing. After a year of rest in Kenora they moved to Pasadena, California, where John began to write about the Vineyard movement; after another year, he began to travel and minister for many months with John Wimber, in conferences all over the world.

In 1986 John and Lorrie moved to North Delta, B.C, to be assistant pastors of the North Delta Vineyard Church with Ken Blue -- a longtime friend from Winnipeg. This church eventually moved, and became Surrey Vineyard.

John and Lorrie became involved in the move of the Holy Spirit on several fronts; they began to travel extensively, conducting seminars as well as focusing on John's writing career. John and Lorrie were involved from the beginning in the work of The Gatherings -- which spread from BC across Canada, and have now become an international event.

In her tribute at the funeral, Liana spoke these words of her father:

"Dad was humble. He knew who and what he was. He was a brilliant man and he was a flawed man. And he knew how easily we are able to deceive ourselves, to wear fig leaves in God's presence.

"Dad could smile the same way at rich or poor. He was not intimidated by the powerful or influential, but understood them to be as broken and lost as anyone else. He taught us that the only gift we can truly give the Lord is ourselves -- and that even our greatest talents are nothing in comparison to how he can glorify himself through us, in spite of our weaknesses and failures.

"Dad loved. He was an Englishman, and most of us know how that plays out in the realm of demonstrative love. From our perspective, he never stopped trying to push the envelope of his culture and upbringing. He wanted his family to know and to experience his love. Our father loved God with his whole being and served him all of his life.

"Dad was forgiving. He taught us the difference between punishment and discipline. He taught us that God does not hold grudges. God guides, heals -- and when we are willful, he allows us to face the consequences so we will obey more quickly the next time.

"Dad was a risk taker. He hated what was wrong and he hated the effects of wrongdoing. Our father made sacrifices for his God and for Jesus' Bride, the Church. He suffered loss, personal slander, spiritual attacks, censure, criticism and pain -- both physical and emotional. By God's grace, he kept his eyes on the prize - on Jesus.

"As my brother Kevin says, 'He was tough as nails.' He taught his family what a real man was; and he learned to avail himself of God's strength in the midst of weakness. He was never satisfied with reaching a spiritual plateau. He wanted -- as Paul wrote in Ephesians 3:19 -- that he be filled to the measure of all of the fullness of God. That promise fueled his passion for intimacy with God through Jesus Christ. As God revealed himself to Dad, the immensity of God's glory never inhibited him reaching for more. He took hold and clung to his Heavenly Father with great tenacity. He determined to give away all that he had received, so others would know his God on a deeper level. Our Dad trusted God. He taught us that, even if we didn't understand what God was doing in our lives, the end result would be worth it all. He knew that all was for the kingdom and glory of God.

"A true measure of how a person faces life is how they live with an illness like Alzheimer's. Dad would apologize for not being able to converse with you, rather than feel sorry for himself. Despite the struggles, pain and frustrations -- through Christ, Dad bore his illnesses with a measure of grace, patience, hope and a true sense of humour rarely seen. There were more occasions of laughter with Dad than anyone would have reason to expect. He did not die of his illnesses, or of any complications. He simply looked up, and his spirit left -- to follow the Holy One who finally beckoned him home.

"In his marriage, he lived and loved with faithfulness, generosity, gentleness and respect -- bearing in mind his example to his children, of Christ's love for his Bride."

At the funeral Bill Dunford, former pastor of Surrey Vineyard, officiated -- along with David Stevens, present pastor of Surrey Vineyard. Pastor Stevens spoke of John's faithfulness to the church he had helped plant as Delta Vineyard 16 years previously; two weeks before his death, John was at the pre-service prayer meeting -- as he had been faithfully every Sunday that he was able to attend.

Pastor Cal Chein from Honolulu spoke on behalf of the international Christian community, about the impact John had on his life and that of his wife and his Church. He thanked God on behalf of all people throughout the world whose lives had been touched by John's books and prayers and personal preaching and ministry.

Pastor Daniel Cheung of Church of Zion, Burnaby gave thanks on behalf of the Chinese community here, and in Taiwan and Hong Kong. He brought greetings from Watchmen for the Nations and from David Damien and Gideon Chu, who were in Taiwan on a missions trip and unable to be personally present.

Andy Parks, also a former pastor and worship leader at Surrey Vineyard, led the worship; he sang a beautiful song he had written, called 'Life is Precious.'

John loved to worship; he was an accomplished pianist who loved to sit and play classical music and favorite hymns. At the funeral, his three favourite hymns were sung: 'How Firm a Foundation', 'To God Be the Glory' and 'Jesus, I am Resting, Resting'. In the last months of his life, as he slipped further into the silence of Alzheimer's, these were the three hymns he asked his family to sing at their after-supper sing-alongs.

My husband Peter and I have been blessed and enriched these past nine years by the gift of friendship with John and Lorrie White. We feel John's absence daily.

Even as he grew more silent with his Alzheimer's, there was still that strange sense that any minute he was going to open his mouth -- and we would once again have an intense, wonderful discussion about what the Lord was doing in our hearts and in the world at large.

John and I both shared a passion for roses and colour and poetry. He and I loved John Donne's poem, 'Death Be Not Proud.' There were always so many things to explore and learn about, but nothing more mysterious than God's work in our lives. We would often speak of God's wonders.

I felt, as did others, very safe being myself -- being real -- with John. Once, when I was suffering from a number of illnesses and difficult financial times, John asked me if I believed that God was Sovereign and knew what he was doing with my life. Did I believe that nothing was touching me or my loved ones that had not been filtered through the loving hands of God? I told him no; quite frankly, I thought that I had been abandoned and that God was simply too busy running the universe to care.

He replied: "Ah, but you are wrong, Carolyn. God knows, and has handed all this to you for a very special reason -- and for your good. In his time, he will show you why. In the meantime, know that he loves you -- and so do I." When John White looked at you with those piercing blue eyes, you knew he heard your words -- spoken and unspoken. When he told you you were loved, you knew it.

I have begun to have the 'whys' answered, as John said. More importantly, I have come to comprehend in part that I am -- and have been -- loved.

Dr. John White leaves behind his wife Lorrie; daughter Lianna; sons Scott, Kevin, Miles and Leith, and their families. There are 13 grandchildren, and one more due in August. There are many spiritual children -- too numerous to count.

Thank you, John. You have left a big hole in the hearts of those you left behind. Thank you for being here, and for allowing us the privilege of knowing you. I thank God for that hole you have left in my heart.