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by Will Ludy*, with L. Wang
 For 12 of the 13 years of my marriage, I lived a secret life. I looked like a man who had the perfect marriage, family and home. But just below the surface, beyond the deceit and the dishonesty, was the truth: I was cheating on my wife. And when the secret was eventually revealed, my wife, Danielle*, and I found ourselves facing divorce and family breakup.
An ugly process
Desperate, we sought the advice of professionals, but all they could tell us was that there was no hope--divorce was inevitable. So we began the ugly process of ending our marriage. Deep down, though, I wanted to believe there was still hope left for us. We went to a church one Saturday night, in hopes of getting any kind of help we could get. There, in my brokenness, I realized God gave up His Son on the cross to die for my sins. Jesus offered me a new life--a fresh new start. We also met a friend there who was the first to tell us there was hope. He read the Bible with us and told us to put our faith in God. We began to see that it may not be completely hopeless after all, for what is impossible for humans is possible with God. We were still unsure of our future together, but we knew we could be sure of God and his unchanging and trustworthy love. Forgiveness and freedom
After weeks of reading the Bible together and praying, Danielle felt God telling her our only hope was walking together with God. Shortly after, Danielle told me she felt that she had forgiven me, but she couldn't grasp how and why she could have done that. She expressed that even if saving our marriage may not seem possible, she had forgiven me just the same. I knew this in itself was purely from God. Danielle continued to ask God how and why she could have forgiven me after all that I had done. She was so hurt, yet felt a genuine love for me. After more seeking through reading the Bible and prayer, we came to realize that it was only by God's grace that hope and restoration were being brought into our lives. There came a moment when we both knew that our marriage could and should be restored. We had hope.
Restoration
 We decided to take time off work to focus on one of the most important tasks of my life: the long process of rebuilding our lives together. At that time our backyard was a complete disaster from a major renovation project that began in the fall but was incomplete.
Like our lives, our yard looked like a bomb had hit it. Each day we awoke and were reminded of God's grace and love, which gave us enough strength to go into the yard and work. Shovel by shovel, stone by stone, tree by tree, our yard was transformed from a disaster to a thing of beauty. As we transformed our yard together, God was transforming our hearts. As the weeks went by, we began to get to know each other even more intimately than ever before, and hope returned to our lives. Each day, I fell more and more in love with my wife.
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Completely new
For me, freedom from my past meant being sorry enough to want to stop what I was doing. I had to first realize I was a sinner who was in need of God. My past does not dominate me anymore. For our marriage, Danielle and I have also taken practical steps to help it grow. We wrote out a contract, outlining how we were going to live our lives, sealed with a signature. I now do everything I can to build the trust between us again because I care for Danielle so much. If she feels uncomfortable about anything, she can talk to me about it. If she wants to come with me on business trips, she is more than welcome. We read the Bible and pray together every morning. In my brokenness, I turned to God, and God showed me his love, forgiveness and healing--all things I did not deserve. But he chose to die on the cross for me and make me a new man, and help Danielle and me make a new life, together.
Living with hope
If you are looking for peace, there is a way to balance your life. No one can be perfect, or have a perfect life. But every one of us has the opportunity to experience perfect grace through a personal relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ.
You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer.
Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here's a suggested prayer: Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person you want me to be.
(* Names have been changed)
This article was contributed to canadianchristianity.com by www.thelife.com a web resource by Campus Crusade for Christ.
June 7/2007
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I want to send it to her for hope in Jesus our Lord.
God bless you.