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By Diane Bollis
"Sexual distortion is that which deviates from God's creative intent.
God intends sexuality to lead us into relationships of love, commitment, pleasure, companionship and procreation. If the fruit of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23) were applied to lovemaking, life in the bedroom would become fertile ground for the development of Christian character, not to mention great sex."
This is part two of an overview of sexuality. Written by Diane Bollis, a Christian marriage and family therapist. Diane has recent moved to Vancouver from Toronto.
If we followed God's design for sexuality, life in the bedroom would become fertile ground for the development of Christian character, not to mention great sex.
Sexual distortion is that which deviates from God's creative intent.
God intends sexuality to lead us into relationships of love, commitment, pleasure, companionship and procreation. If the fruit of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23) were applied to lovemaking, life in the bedroom would become fertile ground for the development of Christian character, not to mention great sex.
Celibate people live without behavioural fulfillment, but their sexual identity is far from dependent upon it. Thus celibate people cannot be assumed to lack sexual identity. The celibate person is still male or female and participates in the image of God through male-female companionship, intimacy and affection. Communal belonging facilitates personal identity and growth. Without this nurture, regardless of how sexually active we may be, we would fail to thrive.
Sexual distortion is that which deviates from God's creative intent. As a fallen people, we are all somewhat sexually distorted. Distortion becomes problematic when it is compulsive, harmful and/or intrusive. Professional help and prayer partners are essential when dealing with problematic sexuality.
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| Sexual distortion takes many forms, but in virtually all of them there has been a separation of sexuality and personhood, the ultimate violation of God's intent. When we see only a person's sexuality, we dehumanize them. When we see only their personhood, we desexualize them. This dangerous duality can lead to destructive sexual behaviour.
It is unconditional acceptance that fosters change and healing of sexuality.
This type of duality is manifested in the use of pornography, masturbation and prostitution, among other behaviours. I have seen this duality in the business man who picks up prostitutes during lunch hours-seeing only their sexuality-but cannot enjoy sex with his beautiful wife, whom he adores-seeing only her personhood.
Such a duality is also manifested in the young husband who prefers pornography and masturbation to sex with his partner, or in the wife who cannot accept her husband's love because she sees herself as sexually unattractive.
It is unconditional acceptance that fosters change and healing of sexuality. People do not change in a climate of disapproval; they just hide or lie. Only when they accept their distorted condition can they reach out for help. When they are accepted by others, a healing environment is created. The will to change is ineffectual without the power of God and the communal love of God's people.
We must always remember that our personhood is permeated not only with sexuality but with reason, personality and spirituality. We must not focus on our distortions but should retain a balanced self-image.
Above all else, we must remember that God created humans to be worshipers. All humans worship something and, according to Toronto pastor Winston Nunes, we "become" what we worship. Worship involves focus, and if we shift our focus to God we reduce the danger of becoming synonymous with our sexuality and instead find our completeness in Him.
Article contributed to canadianchristianity.com by the author.
Originally published in Faith Today. www.faithtoday.ca
September 13/2007
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