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By Jordan Ninkovich
 All my childhood I suffered from being obese which lead to me being bullied.
Growing up should be a time of innocence, a time of infinite possibility, overwhelming curiosity, and above all fun. Everyone, regardless of who they are, where they come from or how they look, is entitled to the best that life has to offer. Unfortunately, we don't live in a perfect world. Threats come in from all sides. A myriad of social problems plague our society and our youth are often the hardest hit. I am 25 years old now but when I was 15 years old, over ten years ago, my life changed forever and I would never be the same.
All my childhood I suffered from being obese which lead to me being bullied. My torment started back in elementary school were I soon learned who I was and what I was; "** THE FAT KID**"
I was always the biggest kid in class, usually the tallest, and definitely the widest. When I was really young I felt healthy, happy and full of life but it wasn't long before the other kids let me know just what I was; the fat kid, blubber butt, tubby, chubby, wide load, and on and on it went. I was always the center of attention, center stage, under the spotlight so to speak. But I was no comedian. I was the joke.
After elementary school I had to go to a new school where things turned for the worse. My conditioning came in the forms of teasing, harassment, humiliation and bullying. Embarrassment was like my right arm, it was just a part of me. I would usually force myself to swallow all the teasing. I would try to let it roll of my back, hopefully to get swept under the carpet somewhere never to be seen again. Out of sight, out of mind.
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Unfortunately that stuff sticks and wouldn't you know it, it becomes a part of you. My tormenters became malicious and evil, destroying my self esteem. I had countless nights of crying myself to sleep, I felt so alone. School became a nightmare. My social life was non existent. I was picked last for every team and no girls would come near me. Any dream of love or having a relationship with someone became a nightmare.
I was lonely and empty inside. At the end of grade 10 I hit rock bottom. I had enough of being fat and most of all I had enough of having no friends and being bullied. I remember for years every night I would pray to God to help make things better. The thing is, I always believed in God, and considered myself a Christian. I always figured maybe because I don't go to church much, I was praying wrong and that's why nothing was happening. I was wrong. God was listening and preparing me for my future the whole time.
The night I hit rock bottom came at the end of a horrible week for me at school. I got bullied so bad and was having horrific nightmares and anxiety attacks. I was so depressed and full of fear, I was beginning to believe that there was no point in living. My hope was beginning to fade and the bullying drove me to suicidal thoughts. They were so strong and tempting I almost went through with it, but something stopped me.
My parents just so happened to enter my room where I was crying and frantic from almost doing something that was against what I believe in as a Christian. It wasn't just my parents coming into my bedroom that stopped me. All of a sudden I was overwhelmed with security, peace and confidence. Without even thinking about it, I knew right there in that moment, when I felt i was hitting rock bottom Jesus answered me. I will never forget the feeling. It felt like I was draped in a warm blanket and I know I had a bewildered look on my face. As peaceful as I felt, I was completely shocked . . . (to be continued)
"What happened to me was a gift from the Lord, which I will share to give hope to those who have not yet found our lord Jesus Christ" - Jordan Ninkovich
For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11
September 27/2007
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