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By Jordan Ninkovich
"All my childhood I suffered from being obese which lead to me being bullied."
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The night I hit rock bottom came at the end of a horrible week for me at school. I got bullied so bad and was having horrific nightmares and anxiety attacks. I was so depressed and full of fear, I was beginning to believe that there was no point in living. My hope was beginning to fade and the bullying drove me to suicidal thoughts. They were so strong and tempting I almost went through with it, but something stopped me.
My parents just so happened to enter my room where I was crying and frantic from almost doing something that was against what I believe in as a Christian. It wasn't just my parents coming into my bedroom that stopped me. All of a sudden I was overwhelmed with security, peace and confidence. Without even thinking about it, I knew right there in that moment, when I felt i was hitting rock bottom Jesus answered me. I will never forget the feeling. It felt like I was draped in a warm blanket and I know I had a bewildered look on my face. As peaceful as I felt, I was completely shocked.
I began to have thoughts, ideas, and visions of what I would become. For days I stayed in my room writing down blue prints of a journey I was about to take, not even thinking twice where these ideas, where they were coming from but just knowing that this was right and that's all that was to it. I began to pray even more but it was different. I didn't feel alone and knew in my heart that God had been with me during those rough years and it all began to make sense to me. His plan was for me to grow not just physically, but spiritually. It was a journey for me to become someone, a journey for me to find Jesus Christ.
Grade 10 ended shortly after and I said goodbye to who I was and began the journey to become who I was meant to be. For the whole summer I hid from the world, making sure that no one I knew would see me until school starts, until I was a new person. I started using the ideas, the unlimited motivation and inspiration that the Holy Spirit had empowered in me. I began working out, eating right, meditating, praying and re-programming my once poisoned self-esteem and self-image. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and every day I was losing more weight and becoming stronger spiritually and physically, preparing to face the world as my new self. Three months passed since I opened my heart and welcomed in Gods love and His Holy Spirit. I will never forget the image I saw of myself in the mirror that day. It was me looking back with the pride I never had before, skinny and in shape, an image I thought I would never see, but an image God placed in my mind to become, and I became it.
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The memory of me walking into school back in grade 11 will be one I will never forget. I felt like I had a new life, a second chance to start over. At the end of grade 10 my weight was around 275 pounds and at the start of grade 11 I weighed 198 pounds. No one recognized me, they all thought I was a new student. Teachers ran up to me with shock and surprise asking how I did it and what happened. The bullies didn't know what happened either and for once they were speechless. Life was amazing! I inspired people and I gave them hope. Friends who I thought I would never have, happened, and the girls!!! Well they were looking at me a little different now, we'll just say that.
I was so full of life words can't explain it. From there on my grades went up and I became one of the best basketball players in the school. I got blessed with life long friendships that I will cherish forever. My story doesn't end there. After graduating, I realized what happened to me was for a reason more than just to lose weight and have a happier childhood, it was to make a difference in this world. God had blessed me, answered my prayers, and gave me talents for which I believe was for a bigger purpose.
I decided to continue my journey by sharing my story of survival and my journey to faith in Jesus Christ by Giving hope to those who have none and especially giving hope to the future of tomorrow which is in our youth. Now I have started my mission to go around North America and the world sharing my story by writing and publishing my first book of three called "Epidemic A Survivors Story." Bullying and Obesity is an epidemic hurting and holding back our youth and adults from living their lives to the fullest.
I believe that being given the opportunity to share with the world this story of hope and survival in a time when we need stories like this to help and inspire us to grow as a nation has been one of Gods blessings to me in my life. Throughout my book I share more of my story and the events that helped lead me to find Jesus Christ and become who I am today, Jordan Ninkovich, a true survivor and a son of Jesus Christ my Lord.
October 4/2007
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