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by Ed, from the Maritimes
'Ed' is a retired Canadian soldier who wishes to remain anonymous.
My wife asked me to go to an Alpha at her church. We were of differing faiths and I had no intention of going but she mentioned a meal would be served each night of the course. That interested me, so I decided to go.
"Stop drinking"
I attended the weekly sessions and I started to really enjoy the fellowship and, of course, the food. One week Nicky talked about having a personal relationship with Christ and said that He was knocking at the door of my heart. One day while jogging on my treadmill, I thought about those words and said out loud, "Let's have a relationship." It's strange but I heard a soft voice that said to me, "Stop drinking." I said to myself, "What a crazy thought!"
God was talking to me!
I went on my way not thinking of what had happened until two days later when, back on the treadmill, I said out loud, "I thought we were going to have a relationship!" I heard that soft voice say for the second time, "Stop drinking." I then realized that the Lord of heaven and earth was talking to me!
I wondered why He would ask me to do this. I didn't even think I had a drinking problem. Sure, I drank most nights but I wasn't a drop down drunk, so why would He ask me to do this? I became scared of what I was getting into and so I said, "NO!"
Jesus now had my attention and for the next few days He was all I could think about. The enemy was trying his best to make sure I kept on saying no, but now I knew Jesus was truly real and He wanted a relationship with me.
A few days later on Thanksgiving we were having a big dinner with lots of guests and of course there was lots of food and booze there. That morning I again asked Jesus if He truly wanted a relationship. He said he did and He said again to Stop drinking. I was in turmoil. I again said no, but I said I would say yes tomorrow.
Yes....tomorrow
The party went as planned and as the night drew to a close I couldn't help thinking of what was going to happen tomorrow. The enemy was helping me to believe that I was going to pay for all the things I had done wrong. I honestly believed I was going to become a missionary to Africa and so I proceeded to drink every drop of liquor in the house that night, fearing my life was over. I couldn't stay where I was, knowing the Lord wanted a relationship, but I feared the unknown.
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 The next day in prayer I told the Lord that I would stop drinking, but that I needed Him to take the desire to drink away from me. He did just that and I have been sober ever since. Looking back I now realize that I indeed did have a drinking problem but by His grace alone I have been freed.
The story doesn't end there because I was missing something that I didn't receive till about two weeks later on the Alpha weekend. As we prayed for the Holy Spirit to enter, I began to cry like I never have in my life.
Drowning in tears
I am a retired soldier, so emotions and especially crying do not come naturally to me. But I knew I was being touched by God. I felt like I was drowning and if it wasn't for a lady sitting beside me who kept passing me Kleenex, I probably would have.
My life has been transformed.
I don't think I can count all the ways God has helped me. He has helped me to become a better person, husband and father. I went through life believing it was up to me and me alone to make things work. I now know He lives in me and He wants to help me. I now want to show Him how much I love Him by accepting the opportunities He places in front of me to witness and to serve the poor and needy in my community.
Alpha for military
I have also helped on two Alpha courses. One of those courses was an Alpha for the Military where I was a small group leader. Every Saturday morning I volunteer at the local Soup Kitchen where I help to prepare the meal and also meet many of the clients and try to show them the love that God has for them. It's amazing to see the reaction when people hear that God loves them.
I am also thankful to the Alpha course for leading me to open my heart and my mind to the Lord. It really has made such an impact in my life and the lives of my family. I am so thankful to Jesus for allowing me the opportunity to be a part of His plan.
This article was contributed to canadianchristianity.com by Alpha Canada.
February 13/2008
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