By Drew Dyck

FOR MANY Christians, internet pornography has largely been a problem 'out there,' a crisis that wasn't thought to affect many within the Christian fold. But according to various experts, internet porn has not only infiltrated the church -- it has set up camp.

Last year, the ministry Living Waters Canada held a conference to address the crisis. The conference title emphasized the seriousness of the problem: 'Pornography: The Christian's Drug of Choice.' Some might think that is overstating the problem. But, in fact, every new study seems to indicate that internet pornography addiction among Christians is spinning out of control.

For Dan Gowe, an alcohol and drug addictions counsellor at West Point Grey Baptist Church in Vancouver, it was a small, informal study that opened his eyes to the growing problem. Gowe distributed a questionnaire to young men at a Christian camp, asking whether they had ever stumbled upon pornography online and kept looking.

Dedicated Christians

The men he questioned were all dedicated Christians, many of them leaders in their churches. To Gowe's surprise, 37 out of 43 participants admitted to viewing online pornography.

The findings -- in addition to several other more official studies -- convinced him to branch out his addictions counselling to encompass what he saw as a growing epidemic.

"We're finding that guys get addicted very quickly," said Gowe. "It's a massive assault on the church. It's taking down pastors and missionaries -- no one is immune."

Paul Wilkinson, a Christian bookstore owner in Ontario, was surprised when he developed a problem with porn. It began a few years ago, when he was Googling an innocent phrase that landed him on a site with an erotic story.

"Text sites are just as dangerous as sites with pictures," he recalled. "Just because there aren't pictures on the page doesn't mean it's not pornography." Soon Wilkinson found himself in the grip of an addiction. He said many Christians are similarly surprised by the power of internet porn. "Christians usually don't drink heavily or smoke -- but this is an addictive behaviour that gets us."

XXXChurch, a ministry that helps porn addicts, quotes a variety of studies of Christian men that suggest more than half struggle with porn. A confidential survey of evangelical pastors and church lay leaders, published in Patrick Mean's book Men's Secret Wars, suggests that more than half of Christian leaders surveyed struggle with porn and other secret sexual activities.

For the next generation -- the first raised in a truly internet-saturated world -- the problem could be even worse. A 2007 University of Alberta study found that one-third of 13 year old boys in Alberta admitted to viewing porn. Nine in 10 say they have viewed porn online by age 16, with 11 being the average age for a first exposure, according to xxxchurch.com.

Just another addiction?

John Auxier, addictions expert and president of ACTS Seminaries in Langley, BC, cited what he calls the three As of internet porn: anonymity, affordability and accessibility. "That's a powerful combination," said Auxier. "There are a lot of guys who would never enter a store to buy pornographic material, who nevertheless fall prey to viewing pornography online. It's the sewer in your living room."

According to Auxier, the problem is "a behaviour addiction. You don't stop the behaviour despite negative consequences that, in the case of porn addiction, could be loss of time, money and relationships."

Pornography addiction always involves more than just the addict, said Auxier. "We've approached this problem largely as an individual issue. But it really has to be a family issue." He said women whose husbands have fallen into pornography addiction often say the experience is akin to dealing with an affair. "They feel that same sense of betrayal and loss."

Approaching the problem of porn as a family issue doesn't mean focusing solely on married, heterosexual men. As many as one in five Christian women admit to an addiction to internet porn, according to a 2007 survey conducted by ChristaNet.com.

Struggle for freedom

As the church seeks to help, it needs to aim for holistic solutions, said Auxier. Addicts need counselling that addresses all the underlying reasons for addiction. "There's not a one-size-fits-all approach. Often there's an escape aspect to the addiction, or it's a way of coping."

Even once someone finds freedom, the battle is not over. "When people stop using pornography, they have to replace that behaviour with something else," Auxier said. "They need teaching on how to start engaging in alternative, God-honouring activities."

Gowe echoed this reality of post-addiction challenges. "When guys stop using drugs, it can get out of their systems. But with porn, the images are still there in their minds." The struggle to get free, he said, can be monumental. "It's hard to see the agony in these men's lives. But the hardest part of what we do is getting the calls from devastated wives whose husbands are addicted."

Continue article >>

However, he is quick to point out that full recovery is possible. "Guys are being set free." In order for that process of recovery to occur, Gowe said two important elements must be in place: a small group, and individual accountability to a godly person.

Auxier stressed the need to adopt practical preventive measures. "We should encourage families to employ practices to support our moral values. They should place restrictions on cable TV, control internet access and install features such as Angel Eyes software to make sure their homes are protected." Angel Eyes is one of several programs that sends a report to an accountability partner detailing all websites visited from one's computer.

The church's response

Unfortunately, frank talk on this subject is rare in Christian circles.

"It would be easier to have a drinking problem than a porn problem in the church," said Wilkinson. He sees Christians as particularly ill-equipped to deal with the problem. "In Canadian Christianity, we're not transparent enough. That makes us vulnerable to a problem like this that needs to be discussed."

"When someone confesses to alcoholism, we have a place to send them: Alcoholics Anonymous," said Laura Kalmar, editor of the Mennonite Brethren Herald. "But when someone confesses to porn addiction, we don't know what to do. We don't know how to talk about sex in the church."

Gowe -- who reports approaching Christian leaders who are still incredulous about the widespread nature of the problem -- said the first step is getting out of denial. "We need to educate ourselves and realize that we're in a crisis. Some Christian leaders don't want to talk about the problem, because they are embarrassed to do so -- or because it's quite likely they are struggling themselves."

Still, there are signs of hope. "I see more and more resources coming out in the church," said Kalmar. "And that's heartening." She pointed to Dealing With Pornography, a 12-page booklet at faithandliferesources.org.

"I don't think it is changing fast enough," she said. "But it is changing, and there's less and less stigma attached to the topic within the church."

More teaching needed

In March 2005, Christianity Today published the results of 'Christians and Sex,' a survey of 680 pastors and nearly 2,000 lay people. They found that 44 percent of churchgoers want to hear more scriptural teaching from their pastors on sex.

A Christianity Today International analyst commented on the study's findings: "Perhaps this desire for more biblical exposition on sexual issues exists because pastors are not speaking forcefully or clearly enough, while exposure to sexual images and messages in today's media is ever more heightened."

"We've allowed this to go on too long -- and if we don't do something quickly, we're going to reap what we've sown," said Gowe.

Auxier also urged action. "We need to talk openly about sex in the church. We need to recognize that people are struggling, and need our help and support. The church should become a place of safety and healing."

Reaching porn culture

Discovery Christian Reformed Church of Bowmanville, Ontario did more than address the issue in church. It reached out to a wide range of porn industry customers and producers. Last winter, a delegation from the congregation staffed a booth at Toronto's 'Everything to Do with Sex' Show.

The eyebrow-raising outreach was conducted in partnership with XXXChurch. Each member who participated had a prayer partner. Within the first five hours of the three-day show, they handed out 5,000 Bibles.

"People were shocked that a church group would get involved," said Discovery pastor Martin Spoelstra. "There were some great conversations with people in the industry."

The experience impacted the congregation, too. "It was a stretching experience for those who went," said Spoelstra. "It really opened their eyes to the problem of pornography."

Discovery addresses the problem internally, too, by using the Celebrate Recovery program. Spoelstra said he believes that just talking about the issue makes it easier to deal with. "When we broached the subject, it was amazing how many men were willing to say, 'Yes, I have a problem.'"

Spoelstra thinks the church in Canada still has a lot of work to do, however. "The way we're dealing with pornography addiction is a lot like how the church initially dealt with AIDS," he said. "There was a lot of fear and judgment at first."

The first step is talking openly about the problem, he said. "Once we get it out in the open, we can do some theological reflection -- and talk about how best to tackle this issue."

-- Originally published in Faith Today

July 2/2009