|
By Mike Bonikowsky
Barring an unsuccessful criminal career or the
reinstitution of the draft, the last time an individual is compelled to be
in one place at one time, by rule of law, is high school. It is perhaps in
consequence that we all remember it as such a very special kind of going
mad. This article is for the mad among you, who are considering spending
your hard-won freedom in the pursuit of a higher education – by one
of your brethren who has gone before. This is a welcome, and a warning
– for the twilight of the 12th grade has nothing on the rising of the
undergraduate moon.
To release one young person, already suffering for 17
years from a life in which every hour is legislated by his family or his
school, into one where suddenly everybody tells him he can do anything he
wants, is somewhat irresponsible. To expect him to get any work done is
ridiculous. At a loss for what to do with all of these newly emancipated
individuals, it has been decided by the traditions of our land that you and
all your friends should be placed in a closed environment together, and
instructed to study as you did in high school – but without any of
the supervision, or any consequences for not doing so. You shall pass from
having all of your decisions made for you, into complete autonomy. Of
course, you will have a transition period in which to adjust: they'll call
it Frosh Week. So here, child: The keys to your new car. It’s a
mountain road and the middle of winter, and you’ll have to speed if
you’re going to get there in time. But don’t worry.
They’ve removed the brakes so you can go faster.
Dear Christian, called to such a road: what are you to
do? When you discover electricity is still awake after midnight, and with
it the lights, and with it the Xbox, and with it everyone in your dorm?
When you realize your rent and all your food is paid for in advance, and
that the money in your account has no pressing engagements? Will you buy
the cardboard standup cast of Buffy the Vampire
Slayer with it? Will you buy a sword? A lynx?
Because you may. Oh yes, you may. And when you discover your
neighbour’s collection of pirate DVDs? And his neighbour’s home
tattoo kit? And that the neighbours on the floor below you are female?
When the lights do not go out and the music does not
cease and the convenience store is open – yes, all 24 hours of the
day – will you go to bed? Of course you will. Before the rising of
the sun? Perhaps not. But oh! Was there not some duty to be performed this
morning? A class! Of course! The reason you are here. But you went on
Monday, and they did not take attendance. Your friend was not there, and
the teacher didn’t even seem to notice. You are going to be here for
four years, after all. You live at school. There’s time to catch up.
And the body does need sleep. And there are only three episodes of your
favourite show left in this season.
Continue article >>
|
Brother undergrad, sister BA: this will happen to you.
These things and worse things. Things like failing. Things like student
loans. Things like falling in love, and things like love going wrong in
ways you hadn’t dreamed of. Things like depression. Things like
loneliness. Things that will stop being funny. These things will happen, if
they have not happened already, because something has changed in you
– although you look the same and feel the same as you did last year.
You are not your parents’ kid anymore. You are not your
teacher’s student. You have become your own, and responsible for
yourself. And this is your first time being alive. You have never done this
before. Nobody taught you how, because nobody can. None of us would listen.
And because it is hard to live and no one has taught you how, you are going
to blow it.
Yes, you will blow it, and blow it in ways
you’ve never heard of. This is what undergraduate years are for. We
cut the moorings and we sail off into the vast seas of the unknown, finally
our own masters – and then we realize we grew up in rural Ontario,
and don’t actually know anything about sailing. Undergrad might get
you a job someday. It might get you married. But it will get you bruised
and bloodied, sick and crying and finally on your knees, worn out from
making mistakes so hard. And it’s while you’re on those knees
that you’ll remember the last time you were there. It was high
school, and you were losing your mind. And you’ll remember that what
got you through was realizing that you could give it away instead.
This was the lesson of undergrad for me: that we are
given control of our own lives so that we can give them to the one who
actually knows what to do with them. So come. Come and have the time of
your life. Come and get kicked around. Come and get lost. Come and let go,
and grace will find you. This is how we learn.
Mike is in his fourth year of a BA in English at Tyndale University College, Toronto.
Options Spring 2009
|
