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By Jean Kim-Butcher
DO YOU remember an 80s show called The Brady Bunch?
Well, we’re the Butcher Bunch – and we,
too, are a household of eight whose everyday life could fill a season with
laughter and life’s lessons.
We have four girls (Jasmine, 10, Zoë, 8, Maiya, 5,
Karyss, 3) and two boys (Caleb, 7, Nathaniel, 2).
My husband and I are in our mid-30s; and we have mixed
Korean, East Indian, Belgian and Norwegian bloodlines into the
children’s gene pool. Regrettably, however, unlike the Bradys,
we don’t have a housekeeper named Alice.
For this introductory column, I’d like to focus
on Lent, the traditional season of preparation for Easter – the
highlight of the Christian calendar, indeed of our faith.
I have often seen a connection between the Lenten time
and the pre-natal period. Allow me to elaborate upon some common
traits of Lent and pregnancy, and offer a few suggestions on how to
celebrate Lent with some family-friendly practices.
Have you ever noticed a parallel between the 40 days of
Lent and the 40 weeks of gestation?
Both involve waiting for something glorious. How we
conduct ourselves during that wait will determine how we embrace the glory.
Just as pregnancy requires a special diet and emphasis
on exercise, so Lent offers a time for mindful eating and spiritual
fitness.
The purpose of fasting is not only to experience
sacrifice, but to lead us to prayer and humility before God.
Similar to the pregnant woman is the Christian in Lent,
who should begin to slow down the pace of her lifestyle to focus on the
wonder of her “inner workings.”
As a baby grows physically in the womb, so too can new
life begin and grow in our souls.
Lastly, in pregnancy a mother ‘dies to
herself’ by putting her baby’s needs and benefits before her
own. Lent invites us to emulate this example through the practice of
almsgiving. Whether we give in money or in time, it is to be done out
of sacrificial love – by seeing Jesus in the poor.
Ways to keep Lent in your home
• Create an Easter basket where any treats (e.g. candy,
chocolate) that the children may receive during Lent can be stored up.
Our family also makes Wednesdays and Fridays ‘no meat and dairy
days’ (a good way to eat more fish!), and we have ice cream or the
like only on Sundays. This means more fruit for dessert throughout the
week.
• Write Bible verses on index cards which the children
have to recite before entering the house, and again at bedtime. My
family especially enjoys memorizing verses which allow them to incorporate
an action or dramatic voice.
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• By being intentional about fasting from ‘screen
time’ (e.g. TV, video games, internet, email),
opportunities to read a book, write a letter, take a bath or go for a walk
seem to come out of nowhere. It takes much grace and will power for the
movie buff in me to not collapse in front of a good film after a long day
– and instead choose to read my Bible, journal or pray with my
husband.
• Each family member can declare one thing he or she is
going to give up – until Easter Day resurrects it! It can be a
certain toy, a favourite lipstick or a fancy coat, for example. This
serves to keep us mindful of the poor. For me, I won’t shop at
Superstore or anywhere else that I can easily buy things beyond my
essential groceries.
• Ask your children to put aside some of their
allowance or earned income in order to give it to the poor. If they
don’t have any extra income, pay them for some odd chores around the
house or in the neighbourhood.
They can either donate their money to a charity –
or better yet, they can buy food or clothing and give it directly to the
poor. I know of a group of homeless men who ‘live’ outside of
St. Joseph’s Parish in downtown Langley, and always appreciate a
well-stacked sandwich!
• Finally, here is a prayer from 4th century saint
Ephrem the Syrian, which our family offers daily throughout Lent:
O Lord and Master of my life, keep from me the spirit
of indifference and discouragement, lust of power and idle chatter. Instead
grant to me, your servant, the spirit of wholeness of being,
humble-mindedness, patience and love.
O Lord and King, grant me the grace to be aware of my
own sins, and not to judge my brother and sister – for you are holy,
now and forever and ever. Amen.
To kickstart this prayer, and the season of Lent, we
have a ‘Forgiveness Vespers.’ Each family member asks
forgiveness of every other for the specific offences he or she has
committed, while making a prostration in front of the other person –
who replies: “I forgive you, and may God forgive you.”
In the next issue, I’ll talk about the joyous
occasion of Easter, and how to abundantly celebrate this ‘feast of
feasts’ in your home. Until then, I warmly welcome your comments,
questions and stories about Lent, as well as any suggestions for future
topics in this family column.
Please email me at jeanfamilycolumn@gmail.com.
March 2009
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