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Photo journalist Marten Youssef was born in Egypt, and
is now based in Surrey. Last summer, he travelled to Nigeria to work with a
human rights organization. As he returned to Canada this spring, he wrote
the following:
Dear Africa:
I am leaving you. Again.
 After eight months of pretending that I belong here, I
finally found out that whenever I run to you, I run back to the world I
know best.
You have this way of making me believe that you need
me, and I fall for it every time. I dive into your arms – to discover
that you have lured a world into believing that they can help you.
You made me believe that I could make a difference. I
gave up all the comforts of the world I built with my own hands and came to
rescue you – but you weren’t drowning.
You were standing on a pulpit of diamonds, oil, gold
and knowledge – and holding proof of my shallowness in your hands.
And you said to me: “You came back for yourself
– not for me. You came to prove your strength to your world. I
don’t need you. I just want
you.”
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I had no choice but to leave you when I was a child. It
wasn’t my decision. I was too young. I came back because –
no matter how many tales I heard of your corruption, injustice and
poverty – a part of my heart draws me to your huts, slums,
simplicity, nothingness, exoticism and people.
When I am with you, I dream of leaving you. When I am
without you, I crave your scent, voice, words and promises.
You make me feel like a hero, a knight – a
saviour.
I see you in my reflection, Africa. You are in my every
story. I dream of us and the future that we could have had if I would have
never left you.
But now I am leaving you again. I don’t know when
or if I will return. I will dream of you – and of the blissful
moments in which you made me feel that I have something to do with you
being able to stand up on your feet.
I will tell the world you are not broken.
I will share your strength, your beauty, your
uniqueness and your ability to survive against all odds. I will tell the
world your story.
I know you will go on.
Marten Youssef’s African journal and photos can
be seen at: mystoriesfrom.com
May 2007
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