The body is made up of many parts...
the eye cannot say to the hand, I don’t need you...
On the contrary, those parts of the body
that seem to be weaker  are indispensable.
1 Corinthians 12:14-23

We know that Paul wrote this in reference to the variety of individual gifts we find among us in the body of Christ. But this same passage is helpful when we consider it in terms of spiritual direction – as it applies to the many ‘parts’ of ourselves we discover through prayer. 

As we grow in the light of self-knowledge, we can easily be tempted to assume for ourselves the task of separating the weeds from the wheat. We are clearly told, however, that this is surgeon’s work that is best left to Jesus (Matthew 13:29). But what are we to do in the meantime, with all the good, bad and ugly truth that God reveals within us?    

Since adolescence, most of my inner struggles have had to do with trying to create a whole out of the many discrepancies I find within myself. I have often been discouraged by my inability to be consistent in who I am. Many aspects within me seem to contradict each other as they negate the truth of who I think I am. For years I convinced myself that this was just a passing phase – that I would eventually get rid of the inconsistent elements of my personality and finally get on with being who I really am. 

But, after more than 50 years of trying, I’ve come to accept that I’m no more consistent than ever at being who I am.

Like all of us, I am a kaleidoscope of personalities: I am wise, I am foolish; sometimes a saint, more often a sinner; I am strong, I am weak; I am good, I am evil; I love and I don’t love; I act appropriately, I act inappropriately; I am courageous, yet I am full of fears; I find myself often in the very presence of God – and yet, most of the time, I feel hopelessly lost. And I can be all these things in just one day!  

If we are to grow in the sobering truth of self-knowledge, we will have to stop denying that we really are all the things that take place within us. Faith in Christ’s love helps us accept the mystery of the many personality traits that make up the character of our lives.    

The advice that St. Frances de Sales gave to his directees was to “grow familiar with your burden, as if you and it were to always live together.” Self-understanding will only deepen according to our capacity to accept whatever we might find in the depths of our souls. It will lead us, through humility, to embrace the truth of all that we are.   

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Paul gave himself the mandate to be all things to all people. I need to learn to give myself permission to be all things to myself – and to trust God to separate the weeds from the wheat.  

Written by Rob Des Cotes, pastor of Fairview Baptist Church in Vancouver; author of Fan the Flame; and spiritual director with Imago Dei. (imagodeicommunity.ca)

Illustrator Friedrich Peter is a Vancouver visual artist, calligrapher and designer. An exhibit of his paintings runs until May 12 at BelArt Gallery in Vancouver.  

Contact: 604.551.3624 or belartgallery.com/friedrichpeter.html

May 2007