By Jim Coggins

“ALL the believers were together . . . Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts in various restaurants.” (Acts 2:44,46)

Okay, I added the bit about the restaurants.

But it draws attention to the fact that something has profoundly changed. Some 30 or 40 years ago, one of the ways to gauge the friendliness of a church was to measure the practice of hospitality.

My wife and I have been blessed to belong to churches where hospitality was very evident. We were often invited to someone’s home for dinner after Sunday morning church, and mid-week invitations were also not uncommon. It is also true that we left one church after receiving only a single dinner invitation in a year.

I should perhaps add that we also frequently had people in our homes for meals or for coffee and dessert.

We have been part of churches where members took turns making extra food on Sunday so visitors to the church could be sure of receiving an after-church invitation.

Pastors were encouraged to finish their sermons promptly by noon, so all of those roasts cooking in ovens at church members’ homes wouldn’t burn.

In the era of the 60-hour work week, Sunday dinner was a time to relax and celebrate with guests. Not any more.

Not counting family, I can’t remember the last time we were invited to someone’s home for a meal. Oh, we have been invited out to Sunday dinner several times over the past year – but always to a restaurant.

Even pastors have joined the trend. At one time, a pastor’s job description required him to visit every church member’s home at least twice a year. Now coffee shops and restaurants seem to be the preferred location for pastoral visits.

My first recognition of this trend came some years ago when I met a pastor whose church contained a lot of businessmen.

The church board handed the pastor a credit card, and told him to take church members out to lunch. It seems businessmen got home late and had very few free evenings; but they could always schedule a lunch meeting.

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There are several reasons behind this trend to restaurant eating, I think.

One is that there are more wives with jobs outside the home – and, after working all week, they don’t want to spend the weekend slaving over a hot stove. (This is in spite of the fact that modern conveniences, from microwaves to packaged foods, have made cooking much easier. And also in spite of the fact that husbands are also capable of cooking, I am told.)

Another reason is the decline in belief in the sacredness of the Lord’s Day. A couple of generations ago, there was no question about going out to a restaurant for Sunday dinner –  since restaurants, like other businesses, were closed on Sundays. Most of society observed a day of rest and a day of worship. But increasingly factories, transportation services and entertainment venues began operating on Sundays. Fast food restaurants followed suit, then bigger restaurants. People are just as likely now to go to church Saturday night or Wednesday night and work on Sunday.

A third reason is the increased comfortableness with going out to restaurants. My parents might have gone to a restaurant twice a year. Now it would be rare to find anyone who eats in restaurants less than twice a week.

My parents’ generation felt more comfortable in someone’s home than in a public place like a restaurant. The younger generation feels more comfortable in a neutral setting like a coffee shop than they would invading the privacy of someone’s home.

That may point out one of the weaknesses of the trend. In choosing to meet in a safe, neutral space, we avoid inviting people into our homes so they can see how we really live. The level of sharing may be less deep in a public place.

On the other hand, some people may be more willing to open up in a safe, neutral space. Times and forms change; principles remain.

Perhaps it doesn’t matter so much where the gift of hospitality is practiced as long as it is practiced. Perhaps it doesn’t matter where believers meet together – as long as they do indeed meet together.

May 2010