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The May 16 arrest of Mark Edward Grant in Winnipeg may
begin the process of bringing closure to the parents of 1984 murder victim
Candace Derksen. Her mother, Victims’ Voice director Wilma Derksen , wrote the
following late last year, in response to the killing of five Amish children
in Pennsylvania.
TWO days after we discovered our daughter had been
murdered, in answer to a reporter who asked “what about the
offender?” Cliff and I answered, “We will forgive” . . .
Some folks feared that we were forgiving too early and
that we might stifle the natural process of grief.
Others thought that we were making a judgment on anyone
who expressed anger or that we were being dismissive of any justice-making
processes. Still others assumed that our response was made out of weakness,
that it was less than sincere, that we were definitely in denial. Some even
accused us of not loving our daughter enough to demand justice.
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But . . . our statement of forgiveness served almost as
a mission statement throughout the grieving process. It gave us a
destination. It informed those who wanted to support us of where we
intended to go, and became a rallying point for those who were struggling
with the same issues. It helped us to re-engage in life quickly at a time
when we didn’t have much time to lose.
We had two other small children who needed our
attention and love; we didn’t have time or energy for hate. It also
allowed us to move the aftershock of violence from the woundedness of our
hearts to the saner and safer places in our mind, which are more capable of
understanding the complexities of the issues . . .
I know that after 22 years into the journey, it still
isn’t over. So for us, as a family, we will continue to resonate with
the Amish statement: “We will forgive you.”
June 2007
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