By Kate Dewhurst

“I LOVE being married,” said comedian Rita Rudner. “It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

Marriage is the butt of many jokes – not because it’s a laughable state to be in, but because it presents so many opportunities to laugh at ourselves.  

Eighty-five people at St. George’s United Church in Courtenay are doing just that.  They signed up for the ‘Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage’ video seminar with pastor and comedic presenter Mark Gungor.

Gungor spends much of his time travelling and sharing his marriage message. Whether live or on video, he takes a lighter approach to some of the weightier matters of life, by aiming to make people laugh – while teaching solid principles for living.

“Humour helps people’s barriers come down, so they can be ready to receive truth in a way they couldn’t otherwise,” said Kyle Lippert, pastor of youth and families at St. George’s. “Humour in a marriage is like Nutella on toast. It keeps the daily, necessary stuff from becoming stale drudgery.”

A man with an obvious funny bone of his own, Lippert was drawn to the seminar after  he and his wife Julia watched the sessions with some of their friends. They were so impacted by the material that they decided to share it with a wider audience.

They ran the video seminar at St. George’s once a week over a four week period this spring, in a relaxed environment with dim lighting, decorated tables and an array of desserts.

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The attendees, many of whom don’t attend St. George’s, watched sessions titled: ‘A Tale of Two Brains’; ‘Why Does S/He Do That?’; ‘The Number One Key to Incredible Sex’; and ‘How to Stay Married and Not Kill Anybody.’

“The Number One Key to Incredible Sex was the favourite of the crowd,” said Lippert who said Gungor uses humour to talk “about sensitive topics like exclusivity in marriage, lust, pornography, masturbation and unrealistic romantic expectations.”

He said that hearing “a pastor talk about that stuff was refreshing for many, and maybe shocking for some.”

There are those who don’t agree with everything Gungor has to say, but Lippert thinks that’s fine. “At least it gets couples talking, and it sends the message that the church cares about marriages and healthy relationships – because God does.”

Monique and Matt Robertson attended the sessions at St. George’s, and Matt explained that, at first, he “wondered if it was going to offend women.” But he said that “once you get used to [Gungor’s] style, you take it with a grain of salt.” Both he and his wife enjoyed the series.

With the success of the Laugh Your Way approach, perhaps St. George’s is on to something. Is it possible we need more humour in our churches, marriages and relationships?  

“Humour comes from God,” said Lippert, “and I think he laughs at us and with us more than we think.  He has a lot of joy to spread around in our marriages and relationships.”

June 2010