By Frank O'Brien

MY ADDRESS was wherever I could find a safe place to park my car.

Every day, I had to be sure there were sufficient funds to buy the painkillers I needed to get me through the night.        I was 53 years old, separated, alone and scared.

This was the second marriage for both Elsie and me, and we had come to a place where the end was inevitable. My life had been a constant routine of alcohol, drugs, lies and deceit.

I had no true friends. I had ruined all the relationships ever formed in my life. I had not seen my daughters in many years, and I had a granddaughter I had never met.

I learned my mother had passed away 10 days after the fact, when my sister-in-law read it in the paper. The obituary mentioned my first wife – but not me.

Reason to go on?

Parked for the night, with rain falling on my roof, I felt a need to take stock of my life – and see if there was any reason to go on. I looked at my past, my present – and any possible future.

The past was a blur of selfishness, addiction and alienation. The present was this car, the rain and the few dollars in my pocket. The future seemed as empty and as black as this rainy night.

Trying to sleep, I kept wondering what it would take to make me happy – and what it would take to make me a better man.

I pulled out a pen and made a short list. I needed a job I would want to keep for more than a few months. I longed for a relationship built on trust and mutual understanding. But what stuck in my head the most was that I needed a purpose.

I closed my eyes and prayed to the God that I had managed to rationalize away all my life. I asked him to forgive me and change me, to make me a person that even I would like.

When I came to, in the morning, I had the most amazing sensation of peace.

That same day, Elsie called. She had been invited to a salmon barbecue at her daughter’s church, and she asked if I would pick her up afterwards and drive her home.

Alpha influence

When I got there, she started telling me about the nice people she had met. She said she had been invited to an Alpha course at the church.

I thought that was great because I would get to drive her home on those nights. She was the woman I wanted to have the trusting relationship with.

It only took a couple of weeks for me to realize Elsie was beginning to change. She was much calmer, and more open. She would tell me about the Alpha course – the people at her table, and what the latest video had been about.

Mostly, she told me how she was getting questions answered that she had pondered her whole life.

One Saturday night, Elsie mentioned that she was going to attend church the following day. Before I could stop myself, I asked if I could come with her.

A warm welcome

There was no way I could have been prepared for the welcome we received and the warmth of the people. But I reserved my right to remain skeptical until I saw more.

That Sunday was sign-up day for home groups. Against my wishes, we were soon registered for a group where we knew no one. We had no clue what home groups even were, but it was in this setting that I began to allow God to transform my life.

During this time, Elsie and I reconciled. Halfway through the Alpha course, Elsie accepted Jesus into her life. I still had not made the same choice.

Unexpected encounter

It happened unexpectedly one Sunday. I had been working on sets for the Christmas play at church, with another member of my home group. He quoted a scripture to me, that I can’t recall today.

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But I will never forget driving alone to the river, and crying like never before. I felt God comfort me – and assure me all would be well.

On Boxing Day, months after walking into that church, Elsie and I were baptized – along with two of her children and their spouses.

With all the fire of new Christians, we involved ourselves in every church group and project we could. We truly felt we had been saved to serve, and asked God to use us in any way he wanted. Elsie started helping at Alpha courses, I taught ESL, and we took on the Sunday morning coffee ministry.

The old self

On the surface, all looked stable; but underneath, my old self was starting to reappear. I was back to taking painkillers, and shutting out anyone God put in my life to help me.

A year after I was baptized, I got into the car and ran away. One week later, I came home – to a house full of church family and friends, who were intent on bringing me back.

After a short stint in detox, I started an outpatient treatment program. At one session, it was suggested that I look into a Christ-centred 12-step program called Celebrate Recovery.

Elsie and I began to attend; we have been leading the group for more than two years now.

During this time, I found the job I had always wanted.

For over four years, we have been working with downtown missions, and with an extreme weather shelter. I allowed God to take charge of my life, and lead me to serve where he wanted me.

We developed a yearning to be missionaries. But we had to listen to those who told us to be realistic. We had no training, so how could it ever happen?

On a vacation to Jamaica, we met a young lady who would change our lives. A relationship was formed that led us to helping her family spiritually and financially.

The youngest in the family was a grade one student. We approached her school to ask if we could spend a day with her class. On a subsequent trip, we visited Mount Grace Elementary and Junior High in a place called Burnt Savannah. We walked into the classroom with a box of Bibles, a Jesus movie, treats for the kids – and no idea what we were doing.

A new mission

Leaving the school that day, we were hooked. This school, these children and this island would become our mission.

On our next trip, six of us brought supplies to the school and ran a three-day vacation Bible school.

Six months later, we were back with a group of 14 ­– one of them the granddaughter I had never met. We delivered 2,000 pounds of school supplies, Bibles, money to start an agricultural course and equipment for the industrial arts program. We ran six days of Bible school, and were allowed to share our faith with all 540 students and teachers.

Elsie and I knew God was calling us into full-time ministry; and we felt that if we could do this for one school, why not more? With the support of the school board chair, a local Member of Parliament and a community church, we were encouraged to expand our activities.

We have incorporated IslandSon Ministries, and on September 29, four days after my 59th birthday, we will be moving to Jamaica for an unknown length of time. I will be trading the job I always wanted for the job I was always meant to have.

We will be bringing in short-term missions teams to work in the schools, the community and the local church. We have a wonderful board of directors to guide us – and the support of our church, Richmond Alliance.

The most important lessons we have learned is that anything is possible through Jesus Christ – and that God’s love and forgiveness are unconditional.

Contact: islandson.org.

August 2010