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By Gary Bennett
HIS LIFE is one that is marked with thanksgiving.
But it hasn’t always been that way for Darrell Vanderhoek.
The early years started out well enough. He grew up in a Christian home and went
to a Christian school. But as a teenager, he started experimenting with drugs.
A few years later he got married; but as the drug use escalated, the marriage
disintegrated.
At age 28, he found himself divorced and lonely. Crack cocaine and alcohol became his best friends; his 154 pounds of body weight
was stretched over his 6 foot 1 inch frame.
He describes the period of his life from 1998 to 2007 as “a decade of a downward spiral” of drug and alcohol abuse. But since Thanksgiving Day 2007, Vanderhoek has been experiencing the blessing
of a clean and sober walk with God. His life is now marked with gratitude and grace.
Not being one to hoard the opportunity of a new life for himself, Vanderhoek has
set out in recent months to investigate what it would take to provide a place
for “supported sober living,” for those like him who had been caught in the throes of drug and alcohol
addiction.
Such places are currently available, but he discovered that for every thousand
beds available for men there is only one bed available for women. So he decided to do something about it. His investigation turned to action.
Neway Recovery Home in Esquimalt is the result. It officially opened on May 15.
Vanderhoek is careful to point out that Neway is not a treatment centre. It is
simply supportive housing. Any in-depth treatment that takes place in the lives
of Neway’s residents is outsourced to other agencies. But Neway is an essential place of community and compassion. Simply stated, it’s ‘home.’
Currently, there are four young women living at Neway, in two bedrooms with bunk
beds. For them, the life is structured. Neway’s only staff member, Tricia Law, supervises their daytime activities.
Each day starts out at 7 am with breakfast. From 7:30 to 8 am, they split up the chores – bathroom, kitchen, laundry, garbage, recycling and vacuuming. From 9 to 11 am, the women gather for a ‘feeling check’ – a session much more like a family meeting than a group counselling session.
Lunch is served from 12 to 12:30 pm. Then, for the next hour, the women do their
‘step work’ – using the 12-step program of Narcotics Anonymous (NA). The rest of the afternoon is free time, with dinner served from 5 to 6 pm. In the evening, each woman is required to go offsite to a meeting of NA or
Alcoholics Anonymous. Curfew is at 10 pm.
The Neway Recovery Home is not an overtly Christian agency. Vanderhoek claims that it is a far more effective approach to “lead by example,” than to be “preachy.”
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The women are given the option of substituting one of their offsite support
meetings with a visit to a local church gathering. A couple of the women have been attending the New Life Community Church. There is also a library in the home, with some of the shelves stocked with
Christian books and other inspirational materials.
From personal experience, Vanderhoek knows it is ultimately the love and grace
of God that is able to transform lives. For years, he was caught in a perpetual
cycle of failure – never able to forgive himself and too ashamed to ask for help.
He would often see the names of his father Harry and step-mother Ann appearing
on his cellphone call display; but out of embarrassment, he would refuse to
pick up the call. Finally, the love of God – expressed through parents, family, and friends – broke through.
When Darrell would say in self-condemnation, “I’m just a crackhead,” Ann would counter: “Did you know that when Jesus died on the cross, he died with Darrell on his
heart?” Harry, with outstretched arms, would then add: “And all God wants is to bring you back in.”
Vanderhoek credits his recovery to the ongoing support of his parents and his
sister; his pastor, Harvey Roosma; and his church family at Christ Community Church – who, he says, continually remind him of the forgiveness of God and the fact that “God loves me.”
Vanderhoek still carries some of the marks of a painful past. He suffers from Hepatitis C, and has lost a lot of his teeth. But his heart has
been forever changed, and he lives with a passion to help others break free
from the bondage of addiction – and to find meaning, purpose and fulfillment in life.
One step in that healing process is to have a place to eat, sleep – and call home.
For more information on Neway Recovery Home, you can call 250.590.5697.
September 2009
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